The Waiting Game~

Well, here I am again. I'm in the waiting mode, AGAIN. Having a disease like MS teaches you a lot about waiting and patience, that's for sure. So, what am I waiting on this time? Well, I'm waiting on a new comprehensive MRV test of my neck and jugular veins to determine any new venous stenosis that may have built up in my body. WHAT you say, speak English. Ok, I'll try.Here goes~~

Back in August of 2011, I had a new procedure to help symptoms of my MS-- (for I also found out at that time, that I had Chronic CerebroSpinal Venous Insufficiency, along with my MS)

When I had a venous angioplasty to open up my clogged jugular veins (they were clogged up 80% on both sides) and then, all of the sudden, low and behold..... many of my most debilitating MS symptoms were drastically improved! Symptoms such as the overwhelming fatigue that ruled my life, head crushing headaches that severely crippled me, cognitive function that left me sounding like an idiot many days, balance issues, cold hands and feet and other things were suddenly cleared up. Praise the Lord!!!! Thank you Jesus!

WHAT you say? A Cure for MS??

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 No, it's not a cure, but it sure does help.

What is the connection? There definitely is one and there are a devoted group of doctors around the world trying to put the pieces of this huge puzzle together. MS, a vascular disease, not an autoimmune like we've been told for years? Yes, it appears to be so, it's just a matter of getting the naysayers on board and proving the science, but we're getting there little by little.

So, now what am I waiting for? Well, I'm happily waiting for something known as the "Haacke Protocol" MRV procedure to come down here in the Tampa area. I'm going to be the first local guinea pig for the Haacke Protocol. Designed by brilliant physicist Dr. Mark Haacke at Wayne State University, the "Haacke Protocol" is the cadillac of MRV testing prior to the CCSVI procedure and I want it. I want to know exactly everything that's going on in that head of mine and I'm willing to wait until I can get what I want. I want a complete roadmap of my head! God has opened the doors and the process has begun; the players are in place, it's just a matter of waiting on the Lord for His perfect timing, which it always is.

So, in the meantime, I have to admit, I'm suffering these days. My walking is really bad, my bone crushing head pain has returned and my burning ears, which I lived with for years before I ever heard of anything called CCSVI, have returned with a vengeance. I fell  last week. oh brother :(

which bruised my ego more than my body, but it's still a reminder of what the disease has done to me and continues to do. I can feel myself slipping away just like I was before I had the first CCSVI procedure in 2010. Help me, Lord and I know He will! He is a God of Promises and He doesn't ever disappoint His children, of which I am thankfully one.

The funny thing about MS, is you slowly go downhill before you even know it. You slowly slip away and before you are even aware, you're in a really bad place, emotionally and physically. Thank you Lord that I'm not there emotionally, but, I am there physically, and I need to turn this around and fast!

I'm ready to turn my health back around in the other direction! I'm ready to move forward and not backwards! I'm ready to claim my healing in the name of Jesus, my Savior! "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress.  He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.  Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men." Psalm 107:19-21

I am waiting on God's perfect timing to put His plan together for me, right now. He laid out my life plan before the foundation of the earth, and He knows exactly how this is all going to come together. I am just trusting in His perfect Will for my life, knowing that everything will be exactly as the Lord wants it to be. Thank you Jesus, my Savior! 

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Heavenly Father, 

I come to you today, pleading for relief from my MS symptoms. Please Lord, open the doors for this procedure quickly so I can get the relief I need. Help me to have patience while I'm waiting, which isn't easy, but I know it's all part of your perfect plan. Give me the strength to endure the hardship I face because of this, for I know through my suffering I become closer to You.

I pray,

Amen and Amen

"The Right Choice" of a lifetime

Tomorrow I celebrate 35 years of wedded bliss with my terrific husband, Steve. As I watched him dance around the pool deck this afternoon to the tunes of the Beach Boys and Crosby Still and Nash, I smiled. I swam around the pool as he cleaned the pool filter, cleaned the grill and tables, all the while singing and dancing to the songs he loves. Goofing off like he loves to do. That's one of the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with. He always had a great sense of humor and still does. His sense of humor and his passion. That's what I love about him. He throws himself totally into something, he's not a half way guy about anything.

                                                       Here we are on our wedding day on May 26, 1978

                                    Me, Eric (Biff) and Steve in 1985, shortly after we moved into our first home.

                                                    Steve with Biff and Jordy at our friend's pool in 1992.

Boy, I thought, as I kicked my legs in the cool pool, am I ever blessed that the Lord put this unbelievable man in my life all those years ago. He has been so much more than a husband. He's without a doubt the best friend I've ever had. He's been a faithful devoted husband, an awesome father and with me through the thick and thins of living with a pretty devastating disease called multiple sclerosis.

It hasn't always been easy for me or him, but if there is a more true blue man on the planet, I sure don't know his name. As my disease has progressed and I have become more and more less mobile and able to do less things around the house, he has totally picked up the ball and run with it.

                                              Steve and the kids at my folks in Englewood, October 1996

                                           Visiting San Francisco in 1997, 4 months before I was dx with MS
                                                                                        

                                                            2006 Thanksgiving in TN with the family

I am amazed at all the things he does around here. He cooks, (and might I say he is an awesome cook, much more above average than I ever dreamed) he cleans, he does the laundry, he cuts the grass and trims the yard up, he does the dishes, changes the beds - literally, he does everything to keep our home running, while still working and keeping a roof over our head. As he likes to say " I do it all" - and it really is true, he does do it all!!! What an incredible guy this is, and he belongs to me! Thank you Lord Jesus, I am so thankful.

Not only does he do so much for us, he also puts up with me, which isn't always easy I'm sure. I can be "a load" as he sometimes tells me, and I know he's right, but most of the time he's amazingly even keeled while doing the balancing act that he does.

I knew when I married him that he was a great guy with a great sense of humor and strong moral values, but let's face it, when you get married and are starting out you really don't know much about each other. You learn as you go through life, about the person you married and took those vows with before God.  Well, my guy was dead serious when he took his vows, and he has been faithful to every single one of them. Genesis 2:24 says "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh."  We definitely have become one flesh, just as the Lord wanted us to be. We are truly blessed.

When you get married, your spouse either rises or falls to the occasions that life throws your way. Well, I'm here to tell you and shout it to the world, that my guy has risen way above any expectation I ever had of what a good husband should be.

                                                                      At our home in NC with Buck! 

                                                 

                                                     Our growing family at Biff and Jessi's wedding in 2011.

Let me say in closing, Steve, I love you. I am so happy and will be forever thankful that you picked me to be your wife. Thank you for always standing by me through the many ups and downs of this short life we live on earth. It hasn't always been easy, but it sure has been worth it.

I'm so happy that you accepted Jesus all those years ago because I know we will get to spend eternity together. I couldn't imagine spending it with anybody else because you are my love of this life and my eternity. Thank you Lord. And when we get to heaven, I'll be able to dance right along side you cause I'll have a brand new body! Boy, isn't that something to look forward to - for both of us!!!

Thank the Lord that I made the "Right Choice, " all those years ago, and honey I can't wait to see how much fun the next 35 years are gonna be. Onward we go!!!

All my love, forever dear~~
Nicki

My verse today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Thank you Lord Jesus for leading my awesome husband to me all those years ago. I know I met him because he was part of the plan for my life, a plan you laid out before the foundation of the earth. Thank you that he has been a good and faithful husband and father and stayed true to his vows, even on days it must have been hard. Thank you for my family and the blessings that you have given me these last 35 years because I know they come by your Mighty Hand.

I pray,
Amen and Amen

Finding my voice again for Jesus~

When you are going through a rough time in life, sometimes it's hard to articulate what's happening, couldn't you agree? There's a verse for that! "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." Romans 8:26-27

I love to write about the Lord and the amazing things He has done in my life through this blog. But lately, I haven't felt well at all, intense head pain has taken my life over on many days, and it's hard to get any thoughts together long enough to sit down and think them out for myself, let alone share them with others and seem to make any sense of it all. I'm still not sure all of this will make perfect sense because the MS cog fog is back, but here we go any way. 

My new prayer group on Facebook has taken much of my time,and just keeping that going by selecting music, pictures, verses and prayers has been a struggle, but I am determined to do it even through the pain and the Lord has helped me with that. He seems to allow me just a window of time each day to achieve that before the pain sets back in.

I have been amazed at how well this wonderful and growing group of Christian lady prayer warriors is melding together to help each other and new members in the name of Jesus Christ. I can see the Lord's Hand in this growing ministry everyday and am totally encouraged by the way the Lord is using me and the other prayerful ladies to reach out to others in need, in His Mighty name. I guess I never realized that the prayer needs in the chronically ill community were so great, but I am thanking God that He opened my eyes up to start filling this incredible need in His name.

I Praise Him because the Lord has used His Holy Spirit through me to minister to these ladies, in spite of my pain. In the last few weeks, I have also witnessed how He has orchestrated making the "Haacke protocol" MRV available to me and then hopefully to others in this area. 

When my radiologist at UDI in Tampa, who diagnosed me in 1997, wasn't interested in pursing a more comprehensive CCSVI diagnostic test, (even though Dr. Haacke spoke with him through email) I was very disappointed and discouraged, but continued to pray about it. 

Then, Dr. Haacke came through with another email recommending a wonderful new, totally enthused radiologist in this area that is going to work with me to get this done. We spoke for almost an hour the other day on the phone, and he totally gets MS/CCSVI and the connection and is excited about digging in to make this available to others. I also found out yesterday that he is a Christian! Now, tell me, that isn't a God Thing! Thank you Lord Jesus for your faithfulness~~ Everything is falling into place.

                                                             

Working with my new tech, and with Dr. Haacke and his group coordinating from their end in Detroit, we can get my comprehensive scan done, then make this amazing technology available to all those others suffering with MS/CCSVI in the Tampa Bay area. This will be a huge bonus for everyone seeking this new scan and I am thanking the Lord that He has opened the doors of Heaven to make this happen. 

Just when you think you haven't got anything to say, God will open your heart and give you the strength to speak His Words to encourage others. Thank you Lord Jesus!

My verse for today is above in red.

My prayer for today:

Thank you Lord that you are always with me, even during the tough times when I don't feel good. Thank you that you make always make a way and open the doors of Heaven for those who love you. I do thank you for this growing prayer group of ladies. Thank you for their hearts of gold, and for the way they are reaching out to others in Your precious name. Thank you for giving me the strength today to sit down and write in my blog, which I just haven't felt like for so long. I pray that you will continue to order this process with the Haacke MRV protocol so that I can get my results and others may also begin to heal so they can serve you.

I pray,

Amen and Amen